


Transition Period

by flowersforgraves



Series: hc_bingo round 8 [16]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Community: hc_bingo, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 19:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersforgraves/pseuds/flowersforgraves
Summary: In which Hawkeye is... upset.prompt: abandonment issues





	Transition Period

This whole mess wasn’t Trapper’s fault, not really. Hawkeye did his best to remind himself of that, even as he was trying not to cry.

But then again, it kind of was.

Hawkeye had been paranoid about people leaving him ever since his mother had died when he was small. It was only amplified by his friends in school having drifted apart, leaving him mostly without close relationships, save for his father. As a result, he tries not to get close to people any more in an effort to guard his heart against pain. But it’s close to unavoidable in Korea, where you’re living in each other’s back pockets.

So it really wasn’t completely Trap’s fault that Hawk was curled up in the corner of the tent, knees drawn up to his chest and head down, sobbing and feeling like there’s an irreparable hole in his heart. Even if it felt like it was Trapper’s fault, the whole blame couldn’t be laid at his feet. Trapper would have had no way to know the reaction his leaving without a note would have.

Hawkeye slowly brings himself back down from the panic, thanking his lucky stars that Frank hadn’t walked in on that. It’s only the second day since Trapper’s been gone, and he figures it’s pretty much time for grief. He’d held himself together admirably, in his opinion, to get BJ settled into camp.

He fists his hands in his fatigue pants tightly, focusing on the texture of the fabric. “Okay, Pierce,” he mutters. “Time to get up and face the day. Maybe you didn’t catch him before he left for good. But that doesn’t mean you get to sit here and feel sorry for yourself.”

He wipes his tears dry, splashes water on his face, and just as he’s finishing up, BJ walks in. “Hey, Hawkeye,” he says, pretending not to know that Hawk had just been crying.

“Hey Beej,” he says, grateful for… well, everything. “How’re ya settling in?”

“Things are fine,” BJ says. “I mean, how could they not be?” He flashes Hawkeye one of those brilliant grins that makes his heart ache for Trapper’s smile.

“Yeah,” he says instead of breaking down again. “The 4077th is pretty great. Five stars in the tourism department.”

BJ chuckles. “So I hear,” he says. “But I’ve found at least some of the company to be lacking.” He casts a meaningful glance over at Frank’s bunk.

Hawkeye grins. “I can’t blame ya,” he says. “Frank’s one of the low points here in sunny South Korea.”

BJ claps him on the shoulder. “Speaking of Frank, what do you say we go find him and irritate the hell out of him?” He’s doing his best to cheer Hawkeye up, despite not knowing what’s wrong, and Hawkeye’s heart hurts. He misses Trapper, because Trapper would have known what was wrong without being told, and would have known exactly how to make Hawkeye feel better.

“Yeah,” he says, after a pause that’s just a beat too long. “Sure.”


End file.
